Surrender

It always seems like it is at night, or middle of night, or odd times when i wake up that God teaches me, or speaks, or rebukes me of things...  I woke up at 4:30... i still would consider that the middle of the night haha..sleep was disturbed cuz i felt a bit warm and my hands were super dry cuz of the a/c..

I know when i wake up in the middle of the night its the best time for me to just have some quiet time.. cuz i know there must be a reason why im up right..it's not just because i felt hot...if that were the case i would just throw off my blanket and fallen back asleep.... so i just spent time reading and praying... and u know the last few times when in the presence of the HS.. i have this feeling that my heart is being literally stitched up.. stitched back together... like there is slight pain like someone actually working on it... kinda crazy right? my brokenheart is slowly being sewn back together by God. Funny then the song Surrender pops into my head. Wow... exactly what i feel like im going through! Gosh.Old school sunday school song I always used to sing ..exaclty ministering to me so personally.
God you are awesome!

"I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within I lay it all down for the sake of you my King 

I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life 

And I surrender all to you, all to you And I surrender all to you, all to you

I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss For the sake of knowing You for the glory of Your name To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain"

i guess i just wanted to share this experience and blog about it in the early morn still before the day comes and business takes over. eh its 6:30 now.. i wonder if i should go back to sleep or get up and make breakfast.. ooo i totally actually feel like pancakes right now haha.. i think ill get up and make some!! =]

laters <3 

Disneyland

The other day i woke up from a really sad dream in the morning. one of those dreams where u feel like you are at war with your emotions..it felt so real that you think you are in reality until u wake up.. and the few mins when awake u still feel the feelings that were from the dream... ya ... it was a dream that i wish i knew the ending to but it was too painful going through it that i had to just wake up in the middle...

the dream reminded me of my past and revealed things that i will not get to experience anymore in the future... i felt so much saddness and pain

the most intense part of the dream where i woke up was because you told me our hopes of one day going to Disneyland together will never happen anymore..and u gave me back the map i kept... yet on the map of the park there happened to be a branch of Bistro Chez Fio in Disneyland! haha of all places the Happiest Place on Earth...

what the heck i didnt really see what this dream was about till i just typed it out... gosh i guess my happily ever after was never with you... you gave me back the map of Disneyland i thought we would share .. and now it included something better

i dont know exactly what my future holds.. i've been thinking a lot about where would i end up "settling" down. like right now i am in brunei... im adjusting and everything but what if i adjust so well that i end up wanting to really live more than the next 5 years of my life here.. what if i want to settle here? ...what about vancouver? ahh i shouldn't be thinking about this kinda of stuff right now its not n e time soon at least or in the near future..

i shared my thoughts about this brunei and canada thing with my mom and two things she said that was like a "yaa true moment".. first she said nothing changes the fact that you are Canadian by birth but also Bruneian.. and nobody is in one place forever...
her two things she said just brought me out of like "ahhh what do i do mode?!".. to focus on God made me mode and He knows what he is doing... Especially cuz i am in no control over who my family was going to be or where i was born.. and im only here on this earth for so long..

there are no coincidences.. no doubt things happen for a reason even though i may not understand the reason

i finally changed my location of my profile to brunei now..and a new profile pic woohoo

Center

The best place is being in the center of God's will.
My life truely has been so blessed. From the family I was born into, to being raised in Canada. From moving from house to house and school to school, to my university education. From working my first summer job at Bun Masters, to now beginning to start my own bistro in Brunei! Wow. What a blessing!

Where am I? I am in the center. and Jesus is my center. I thank you for the journey so far..and the journey yet to come.

The last two nights i went to wedding dinners back to back! Being at these weddings reminded me that..
God is a God of love stories. of unity. of perseverance. true love do not give up. it does not get tired. it always waits. without God in the center of a relationship...it will often fail .. because God is love. and His love is perfect.

Today at church the sermon was about the Parable of Talents.
It really spoke to me and confirmed what im doing with my life.
Even though i have no idea what starting a business is going to be like.. if it will even work
I just got to try. I try and have faith. I am going for it!!!!
Using my talents and skills that God has given me.

So Amazed by Your Sovereignty

Lord you are Sovereign

Proverbs 16:9
In their hearts humans plan their course,
    but the Lord establishes their steps.


These few days God has just been amazing me. Romancing me in ways of my inner most being. He knows me so well from displaying his handwork in the sunset, rain, family, and food. He deserves all honor, glory, and praise.

Psalms 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

experiencing God in ways i never would of expected here in this new season of my life.
the old has gone and the new has come

Praise Challenge

I remeber before I went off to Hong Kong the idea to do a praise challenge popped into my mind..
To write down or blog everyday how I have experience who God is, how great He is, basically why Christ deserves my all. I remember back in BSF leaders meetings Kevin said just if you need help to get the ball rolling declare praise by saying "God You are ..." That one kind of lesson he shared has stuck with me and I am so thankful.

This morning I woke up at 4am.. my body the last few weeks justs keeps waking up middle of the night ?! subconsciously lots of things wrestling with i guess ...

I read Psalms 66 (NLT)

¹ Shout joyful praises to God, all the earth!
²     Sing about the glory of his name!
    Tell the world how glorious he is.
³ Say to God, “How awesome are your deeds!
    Your enemies cringe before your mighty power.
⁴ Everything on earth will worship you;
    they will sing your praises,
    shouting your name in glorious songs.” Interlude

⁵ Come and see what our God has done,
    what awesome miracles he performs for people!
⁶ He made a dry path through the Red Sea,^[a]
    and his people went across on foot.
    There we rejoiced in him.
⁷ For by his great power he rules forever.
    He watches every movement of the nations;
    let no rebel rise in defiance. Interlude

⁸ Let the whole world bless our God
    and loudly sing his praises.
⁹ Our lives are in his hands,
    and he keeps our feet from stumbling.
¹⁰ You have tested us, O God;
    you have purified us like silver.
¹¹ You captured us in your net
    and laid the burden of slavery on our backs.
¹² Then you put a leader over us.^[b]
    We went through fire and flood,
    but you brought us to a place of great abundance.

¹³ Now I come to your Temple with burnt offerings
    to fulfill the vows I made to you—
¹⁴ yes, the sacred vows that I made
    when I was in deep trouble.
¹⁵ That is why I am sacrificing burnt offerings to you—
    the best of my rams as a pleasing aroma,
    and a sacrifice of bulls and male goats. Interlude

¹⁶ Come and listen, all you who fear God,
    and I will tell you what he did for me.
¹⁷ For I cried out to him for help,
    praising him as I spoke.
¹⁸ If I had not confessed the sin in my heart,
    the Lord would not have listened.
¹⁹ But God did listen!
    He paid attention to my prayer.
²⁰ Praise God, who did not ignore my prayer
    or withdraw his unfailing love from me.

God you are glorious, awesome, mighty, great, forever, and unfailing!!
God you make a dry path, you watch every movement, you keep my feet from stumbling, you test me, you purify me like silver, you capture me in your net, you laid the burden, you brought great abundance, you listen, you paid attention, you did not ignore, you did not withdraw.
How great are you God!
I praise you no matter my circumstance