Thank You

Thank You for
1) letting me find a new place that sells the same kind of tiles for cheaper, $4 cheaper for each tile adds up =]
2) my dad's past connections where he knows everyone for some reason who can help in the construction of the bistro. Praise God for old friends!
3) leading us to eat at this burger joint that ended up saving over $4000 for making a grease trap
4) seeing ppl passionate about what they do watched this guy on tv talk about durians and u could see how much love and knowledge he had about the king of fruits.
5) such friendly ppl in brunei who are always willing to help and share their info... something in vancouver that is a no it is mine attitude... unless i get something out of it
6) my new hair cut =)
7) classic hymns that speak the truth!
8) going to CfCb with my parents
9) having the time to read a lot- books i've read this year.. all three hunger games, the heavenly man, surprised by the voice of God, when God writes your love story, let me be a women ...
10) the power of prayer

Love deeply

as humans we are not perfect. the only person who can perfectly love is God.
His love knows no end, anything i do does not change the amount He loves me, i can't make God love me more, or less... it is complete
we love because He first loved us.

i will love others how God loves because He loves me

Lord thank you for
1) Your unconditional love
2) Your grace
3) Your mercy
4) Giving me second chances
5) Leading me on the narrow path
6) Showing me this really pretty red bird when i went to tasek
7) Listening to my prayers
8) Giving me the passion of cooking
9) a new day
10) disciplining me

Do not be afraid. Just have faith

how come i'm still afraid when the creator of the universe. the God who is all knowing, all powerful, all sovereign tells me not to be afraid?

i think its cuz im not ready to let go. afraid that all the memories will be forgotten. afraid that ill be forgotten about. and i dont want to be forgotten.. if im letting go he also is letting go? or already has let go. letting go i think of as placing it at God's feet and walking away forgetting about it...what happens when i forget something?

why am i not ready to walk away? is it cuz i dont have faith? or little faith? maybe i just have the faith in my head.. knowing yes God is good and he has my future planned... maybe my faith hasnt gone into my heart and soul yet.... how do i have great faith?  the faith like the women who just touched Jesus' robe to be healed, or the faith Moses had in God, the faith Peter had to carry on and become the leader of the church even when he denied Jesus before.

faith of a mustard seed. it starts small. it grows. faith takes action.

hmm walk by faith... walk... walk ... am i gunna walk yet?

Peace That Surpasses Understanding

I admire people with more life experience than me.
They understand the risks in life.
They also understand the rewards.

Dear God I am grateful for
1) the times i need to wrestle with You
2) the wisdom of an older brother
3) being who I am
4) placing me in Brunei
5) seeing monkeys at tasek
6) having time for walks with my mom
7) my canucks jersey
8) hope for the future
9) the passion my dad also has for starting a restaurant
10) the opportunity to start a restaurant

Just Some Thoughts

i think the greatest hurt in the world is to feel not wanted...
if i can feel that hurt.. how much more is Jesus hurting.. hurting because He is not wanted
He understands my hurt even more than I understand
woh

i read a quote yesterday "it is better to have loved, and lost.. then not loved at all"
im trying to believe this quote but right but i think it will take time.. and lots of it

life in brunei is simple - food, family, relaxed, slow and steady, poliet, couretous, even i would say gentle, and at times boring ...
right now im wondering.. am i missing out on the "good" life.. the fast life..

i think im a simple person, with complicated emotions

Gifts

"Single life may be only a stage of a life's journey, but even a stage is a gift. God may replace it with another gift, but the receiver accepts His gifts with thanksgiving. This gift for this day. The life of faith is lived one day at a time, and it has to be lived- not always looked forward to as though the "real" living were around the next corner. It is today for which we are responsible. God still owns tomorrow."- Elisabeth Elliot

I am living for today, each day at a time, each moment at a time, I don't want to be caught up in the lie that "real" living happen when you get that big dream job, or dream family, or dream life... I am living for today. What can I do for God today?

What I can do for God is to be the best of who He has made me to be.
Right now at this present I am:
I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a cousin. I am beautiful. I am made for a purpose. I am God's. I am a restaurant entrepreneur! These are truly my gifts.

God thank you for these gifts and blessings for today:
1) the marvelous skies in Brunei- the changing clouds just always capture my attention
2) my cousin Yan Shiang for being such a support and encourager
3) Your justice and judgement
4) the story of Jonah and how his anger showed your great mercy
5) having Kaizen sushi in Brunei to satisfy my vancouver sushi cravings
6) Christian books
7) connections my dad has to help me with my bistro
8) my parents for being my greatest encourager with this bistro
9) waking up each day being able to come to you with anything and everything
10) humility and perspective of the prodigal son

Learning about myself

is it possible to care too much about others??
so much so that my emotions, my mood are so tied with other people
so much so that myself gets forgotten about
am i too much of a compromiser, too submissive, too by the book
or am i caring too much about myself??
what people think of me?

how do i balance all these thoughts
i dont think it is possible to change my personality, is it?
i told my friend P i need to focus on others more..to stop thinking about myself
but she was like ehhh fio. at this time you should be focusing on yourself!
huh?

why is this a hard concept for me to digest
myself, myself

i feel like i've been a Martha...caring about all the other details
trying to be the best hostest..
but really i forgot the most important thing
how Mary didn't worry or care about those things or what her sister cared about
she cared about her own relationship with Jesus
she just sat and listened

God loves me
what else matters than my OWN relationship with Him!

but doesnt that sound selfish? hmmm arent we suppose to love our neighbours?
Love God, Love others... love the unloveable. care vs love.. how do u define it

reading matthew these few days
"If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet." Matthew 10:14

im still learning to SHAKE THE DUST OFF MY FEET and not to throw out all my pearls to pigs.. but how do i know if they are pigs? yaaaaa ........ what is with all these thoughts

Gratitude Challenge
1) the beautiful red sunsets in Brunei
2) playing worship songs on the piano
3) constant reminders during the day that God loves me
4) this lady said i looked sexy hahaha i was just wearing a tshirt and gypsie pants.. made me feel nice =]
5) talks with tessa
6) this time to be available to God before starting the Bistro
7) pastor CP and her encouragement and care
8) chey chey leng for always being there
9) thai green curry yum!
10) the eternity that is yet to come